My Name is Kait

Just like Katie Holmes and my cousin Edward, I’ve decided it was time to make my name more adult. I will now be going by Kait. Many of you may be asking, why not Kate? Well the answer is quite simple. My mother didn’t name me Katelyn, so the shortened form of Kaitlin should, in fact, be Kait. That’s the big news…

Onto some other fun things. Stephanie, David and Lauren will be visiting me this weekend. In preparation, I’ve made the best looking cake known to man. It’s a UT stadium cake and it pretty much kicks ass. I spent many hours on it getting it ready for tomorrow’s tailgate. I’ve also made my famous brushchetta and a new addition of southwestern corn dogs with spicy fiesta dipping sauce. FANCY. Here’s the cake.

GO VOLS!

GO VOLS!

Someone in my family is trying to be VERY sneaky. I received a fantastic Halloween card from one of you. It was addressed to Kate without a return address so I know it’s someone from the Reisinger side. It was post marked from PA so we’re getting closer. The inside of the card said “BOO!”. I thought it was very cute, so thank you to whoever sent it. It wasn’t Aunt Carole’s handwriting, and Aunt Witchie is at the beach…guess I was Tricked, now GIVE ME MY TREAT 🙂

John and I still talk every day and he’s planning on flying down to see me in November. I’m very excited about him coming to visit. We absolutely crack each other up and he’s just such a sweetheart. We’ll see…

So, because it’s Friday and I’ve had too much caffeine, I will show you the child I am adopting.

I stole this from a friend, but from now on, when someone says “Tell me about yourself” this will be my answer:

I’m a veteran of steel and a patriot of back-breaking street justice. I break bones and also hearts. I rob from the rich and steal from the poor. I pack a punch the size of the big ass iceberg that sunk the Jim Cameron boat. I whittle knives out of human bones and use them to spread mayonnaise on my grilled-cheese sandwiches. I break the law when I have to park closer to my office by stealing a “15-minute loading zone” spot, and then I also break the law by murdering imaginary supervillains on the elevator with just my brain. I write compound, run-on sentences without shame or remorse. I’m a force of nature that leaves hours of tears and orgasms in my wake. I fight for what’s right. I settle for nothing. I only give money to homeless people if they’re wearing a cowboy hat. I ride the waves of democracy straight into the post office when I buy my stamps. I’m a man on a mission. A mission to succeed. Succeed by forging a new life for myself…based on brawn and sweat and tears. And solid, gold bullion.

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2 thoughts on “My Name is Kait

  1. I might fight you over adopting that kid! I watched it at work and was laughing so hard! I love it! I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well and I’m most definitely going to need updates about the possibility of this new man in your life, hehe! Love you and miss you!

    rach

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